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A math teacher in Arizona was arrested for trying to mix a whole mess of booze with her day in the classroom.
Kathleen Jardine caused a ruckus by unleashing a string of curses at students who walked into her first class of the day, prompting one of them to get one of the school's security guards. The guard noticed that Jardine reeked of alcohol and seemed unsteady -- then found a bottle of vodka and some mixers at her desk.
The teacher, who'd been popped for a DUI the day before, admitted that she'd taken a taxi to work because she was too drunk to get behind the wheel after a hard night of partying. Sheriff Paul Babeau said, "Learning math can be hard enough, I can't imagine trying to learn it from a drunk teacher."