Item Of Mine My Wife Is Donating To Goodwill - So Many Questions

Yes, my lovely wife Kristi is donating this quality item to Goodwill. I know, there are a lot of questions:

1) What is it? - It's a Rudolph the Red-Nosed "Borat" Thong....let that process.

2) Why do you have it? - It was a gift! Weirdly from my buddy and his wife. Thanks Nels and Tracy! But like when Grandma makes you a knitted sweater, or someone goes rogue and not off your wedding gift registry, you have to bring out that gift when they come to visit. Wish I would have known Nels' mom was in town visiting.

3) Why is Kristi donating it? - Best question. I DON'T KNOW! Seems like every week she's donating (mostly my stuff) to a different charity. My guess is so she has a reason to Amazon Prime more clothes. You do know that half smile/smirk on the side of the Amazon box is really saying, "oh this isn't the only box coming".

4) Why I'm not modeling it? - Two letters....H & R! That and the "Red-Nosed" shaming on social media. Insert, "you cannot guide my sleigh tonight" jokes here.

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