Even people in healthy relationships fight sometimes. But it's HOW you fight that makes a difference.
A pair of psychologists who've been married 35 years came up with a list of the phrases people in good relationships tend to use a lot. They grouped them into six different categories . . .
1. "I feel" statements. You don't have to start with those exact words. It's just about expressing emotions.
Things like:
- "I'm getting scared"
- "That hurt my feelings"
- "I feel like you don't understand me right now."
2. "I need to calm down." It's about taking a breath. Other examples include:
- "This is important to me, please listen"
- "Can I have a hug?"
3. Stop actions. It's similar to the last one. Phrases like:
- "Let's start again"
- "Can we take a break and talk about something else?"
- "I might be wrong."
4. Getting to "yes." Phrases that validate the other person and help you meet halfway. Things like:
- "I agree with part of what you're saying"
- "I see where you're coming from"
- "I think your point of view makes sense."
5. Expressing your appreciation. Lines like:
- "I understand"
- "Thank you for saying that"
- "I love you."
6. "I'm sorry." Or even just admitting you're not perfect. Phrases like:
- "I was being extreme"
- "I can see my part in all this"
- "Sorry, let me try again."
(CNBC)
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