Psychologists, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman have been married for more than 35 years and have spent their careers studying relationship stability
They’ve studied more than 40-thousand partners and say one thing all couples have in common is that they want to be appreciated. They’ve found the number one phrase used by those in successful relationships is “thank you.”
The Gottmans suggest observing the things your partner does and writing down the positive things, little things like making you coffee when they make one for themselves. Then simply thank them for what they’re getting right and elaborate, like saying, “Thank you for making me coffee. It just makes me start the day off right.” They’ll feel appreciated and will hopefully return the favor by thanking you for the little stuff you do that makes them feel good.